[Image Source: moriza]

deepsurface has a great blog post about being addicted to information:
"I check email constantly, but no less often that I check my blog reader for new posts and whatever contained links look interesting. If there's nothing new, my third choices are the New York Times, the Washington Post and Slate. Salon ranked right up there until I couldn't log in at work and had to suffer their intro ads.

I do this nearly all day long, occasionally breaking away from the computer to experience the real world. Even now, I struggle to finish this post without checking my blog reader to see of someone has posted something new."

This resonates with me as well.  I have a similar information intake situation, which deepsurface says:
"this info-habit is shifting my balance farther into my head - and even farther from an “integral” lifestyle. Since Integral Theory is the closest thing to religion for me, that means I'm not living my values. What to do? Tell everyone about it in a blog post?"

Precisely.

This is what in part  brought me here to Zaadz – to try and redirect some of this attention and energy.  Here's what I  wrote in my first blog post:

“I'd like to limit my technology/political information intake while increasing my spiritual and community connection”

My habit revolves around HuffingtonPost and DrudgeReport along with over 50 RSS feeds from technology & politics.  Even more so that the election is coming up.

But I can't help to feel that it is a bit too soulless, and getting me further and further away from an Integral lifestyle as well.

What is that we're looking for?
What is the feeling or reward that keeps us searching for more?

Is it curiosity?  Is it wonder?  Is it surprise?  Is it a searching for connection?

Somehow I think it is connection with resonate value systems and good news for the sake of humanity (i.e. the political reality of getting some accountabilty, and truth and reconciliation for everything that the Bush administration is doing to our country and the world).

But this type of connection seems too superficial and too surface-level to really be
the whole story. 

I think it is the searching for the comments and e-mails that make us feel connected and human – rather than any new headline that is going to help decide the winners and losers in the upcoming horserace.

I also think that meditation and exercise can help increase the level of attention and focus that can prevent these types of wild goose chases down an endless rabbit hole of ambient news headlines.  So let's just say I'm ready for something different, and that I need to walk the walk if I'm going to talk the talk.

Finally, here's a videoblog that my wife and I did that talks about the possibilities for empathy and compassion being the new crack cocaine of the attention economy and information addicts.

Photo Credit: xerones

I feel ready to dive head first into the Zaadz community.

I already have a videoblog that I do with my partner Jen, as well as a blog/vlog that is focused on my collaborative documentary project.  But I don't really feel like I've developed a personal and authentic voice that I can regularly jot down incomplete thoughts, imperfect arguments, or just explore some spiritual and intelliectual issues in dialogue with others of like mind.

FINDING OUR TRIBE
Jen and I are isolated at the moment.  Really freaking isolated here in Maine.  We've been here for a couple of years, and we're bursting at the seems for a community that shares our values -- i.e. a Yellow/Turquoise, Integral, Worldcentric X-generation tribe. 

I've lurked around the community here and there, and I see a lot of like-minded individuals here. And I hope that there is enough participation and traction to keep me engaged. 

In other words, in this attention economy, will anybody listen and respond to me when I speak?

How will I tag this post so that people can find it?
Glad to see RSS feeds here now.
How is the best way for me to navigate around to find others of like mind? (i.e. the best I see is via the tag blogs and people that I've actually met face-to-face)

SETTING INTENTIONS

* I'd like to connect with others of like mind -- both virtually and potentially face-to-face as we prepare to move out of Maine to a new location within the next 4 months.

* I'd like to limit my technology/political information intake while increasing my spiritual and community connection

* I'd like to do more personal writing away from the pressures and stress of my professional project

* I'd like to write a bit more about various lectures that I listen to from IONS Shift in Action, Integral Institute, and beyond.

* Have fun and not take life so freaking seriously -- even though there are so many depressing realities going on.  


It's the best of times... and it's the worst of times as we hospice the old paradigms and give birth to the new -- amidst the looming crises is a vast potential of hope and possibilty.

I look foward to exploring this landscape with you

We went to go see Stranger Than Fiction yesterday where Will Ferrell discovers that he is a character in someone's novel. He starts hearing a voice in his head that narrates his life and his deepest feelings, and it allows him to escape the boredom of his routines through many twists and turns.

There are a number of spiritual aspects to the film that I thought I'd jot down.

Witnessing Consciousness: Ferrell hears a third-person omniscient voice that is observing, deconstructing and witnessing his behavior.  By hearing this witnessing voice, Ferrell is able to break out of familiar patterns and structure that dominates his life.  The film itself also has a witnessing consciousness when a literary professor starts to deconstruct and analyze the movie's plot from a theoretical perspective. So it's very meta.

Free Will vs. Predestination: Ferrell makes choices about his life, but there are situations that seem out of his control and seem to be written as part of his fate through his book of life which is being actively created.  Is he able to overcome the predestined context through the power of his own choices and decisions for how he views his fate?

Surrender and Release: Is Ferrell's character able to surrender control over his seemingly predestined fate, and accept his soul's path that has been written for him?

The Balance between Structure and Flow: Ferrell's character is the epitome of structure, and there are a number of characters that counteract his rigidity by getting him to go with the flow and allowing life to unfold from moment to moment.  These polar extremes find a balance with each other.

Carpe Diem: There's an overarching message that you have the ability to make whatever you want with your life, and that you always have the choice to make the most with what you have been given.  We don't know when our lives are going to end, and so why not live life to the fullest that we possibly can.

Anyway, I very much enjoyed the film and would be curious to hear other's thoughts on it.

Victory! The Democrats won the House, and are in position to also take the Senate pending Virginia.

We need a Truth and Reconciliation Commission for all of the deception that we've been living with for the past six years. The wool has been pulled over collective our eyes, and how refreshing would it be to see and hear some truth about it?

Now whether or not the politicians ever really candidly admit to these deceptions is another matter, but the least that can happen are some Congressional investigations to expose some truth -- potentially the most explosive one is how the Bush Administration used and misused intelligence to lead us into Iraq.  Also keep an eye on what Henry Waxman does with his chairmanship.

Unfortunately, there is already chatter of the next election two years from now, and preservation of power is already on their minds before even questioning of previous power abuses. The Democrats see that they've won a number of Red State seats, and they want to hold on to them for the next election by playing to the center. (via firedoglake)

In private talks before the election, Emanuel and other top Democrats told their members they cannot allow the party's liberal wing to dominate the agenda next year. Democrats will hold 30 or 35 seats that went for Bush in the past, meaning that Democratic candidates such as Brad Ellsworth in rural Indiana are likely to face competitive races again in 2008. Still, their interests are likely to collide with those of veteran liberals such as Reps. Henry A. Waxman (Calif.) and John Conyers Jr., (Mich.), who will chair committees.

It is so depressing to see this endless game of power grabs and strategizing.

I just want some aggressive, skeptical and honest investigations into the very real corruption and abuses of power that have been going on.

Yet I'm also aware and afraid that this election is not going to radically shift on the illness and unbalances with our society. I don't expect to see any real integral solutions coming from inside the beltway any time soon. Is Obama any hope of an integral candidate?

But today I just want to wallow in this optimism and hope for hearing some truth exposed to the American pubic.

I read through some interesting material about my soul's purpose that resonated with me a lot -- so much so that I felt compelled to write a lot of it down.  I know that if I didn't, then a lot of it would just seep through me like a sieve.

So I took the following notes in the form of personal affirmations in order to own up to them. I also intend to use the pictures to help amply the core message so that I can treat this as a public note to myself.  These feel very personal, intimate and like they are some of my deepest shadows that sabotage me.  I don't usually post stuff that is this personal, but I wanted to put these intentions out for all to see.

The insights are from a book called "Astrology for the Soul" by Jan Spiller, which talks about the importance of the North Node.  These following excerpts are from North Node in the 5th House. 

Astrology still has a lot of taboos against it in our culture, and so I treat this type of stuff with a healthy skepticism and view it through a mythical lens rather than a literal one.  I find
that it helps uncover some archetypical patterns that can bring me down, hold me back, and prevent me from living up to my highest potential.  If this Astrological blue print can
indeed help me fulfill my soul's purpose while I'm on this planet, then I think it's certainly worth considering.

ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP

* I need to have a willingness to take center stage

* I need to follow my heart's desires

* I need to strengthen my willpower

* I need to have more self-confidence

* I need to take risks

* I need to enjoy life and have fun

TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND

* I need to avoid detaching from emotional situations

* I need to stop being so aloof

* I need to stop waiting for others to prompt my action

* I need to stop waiting for "more" knowledge before taking action

* I need to stop any excessive daydreaming

* I need to stop running away from confrontation

 
 [Image Source]

ACHILLES HEEL

* I have an overriding need to feel acceptance from peers, but it's apparently a bottomless pit

* My soul path tells me that friends never can give me enough support to break out as an individual and take advantage of opportunities

* I need to avoid the trap of an unending search for knowledge in order to have enough confidence to act creatively.

* I must take risks to create my own happiness.

 [Image Source]

WHAT I REALLY WANT

* I really want to experience the loving energy of others

* I should give love to others or create a support network of people who will support, accept and love me

* I will receive by giving.

 [Image Source]

TALENTS / PROFESSION

* I need to find a profession that rewards my individual creative efforts through intensely creative projects (i.e. filmmaking)

* Objectivity is a talent that can be used to identify the contextual games around creativity, but I should avoid professions where objectivity is the goal (i.e. engineering)

 

 AFFIRMATIONS

* "The only person who can create my happiness is me"

* "If I'm having fun, I'm on track"

* When I follow the impulses of the child within, I win"

* "I win when I actively create the results I want"

 
[Image Source]

WHERE I'M COMING FROM

* I have previously lost touch with the vital energy of my inner child

* I have been an objective observer who has a real fear of getting involved

* I need to GET INVOLVED and LEARN HOW TO PLAY

* I have a "laboratory objectivity" which creates a need to passively observe without interfering with the observed data.

* I need to be wary of identifying too much with the role of "Important Observer," which will stroke my ego

* I feel compelled to cut through all of the nonsense and tell it like it is, but this might feel bad if settle too much into rigid positions.

* CHALLENGE: I need to focus on positive aspects that either make me laugh, change my perspective or help lighten the burden.

 

OBSERVATION VERSUS ACTION

* I can get swept up into other people's dramas even though there are plenty of warning signs

* To manifest my dream, it takes a combination of observation and action, and a lot of exerted energy

* I tend to be much better at observing rather than acting to create real world changes.

 

 

SCIENTIFIC APPROACH VERSUS CREATIVITY

* I have a tendency to "think myself to death," analyze everything, and explore all of the possible things that can go wrong.

* I feel compelled to gather all possible knowledge before making any decisions to act.

* I can become so overwhelmed with all of the possibilities that I can get overwhelmed and paralyzed

* I seek security through certain knowledge, which keeps me from taking the risks that would increase my vitality.

* I must trust intuition rather than clinging on to logical strategies

* I often assume that they have superior knowledge, even though this stubborn assumption often blocks them from manifesting my dream.

* I need to consider that my basic premises may be in error

* I often create an arbitrary set of conditions that must be met before acting, but yet these conditions are rarely ever met and may cause me to miss a window of opportunity

* I need to release control of the success or failure of my dream

* I should put aside concerns and do whatever possible from moment to moment in order to achieve my dream

* I need to transcend the limitations of the scientific approach in order to be truly creative

* My creativity comes with working with what's at hand through intuition and mindfulness

* I must accept what the universe brings forth in order to make my dreams come true

* I can go in circles feeling estranged from my life force, and I need to be sure to tap into this life force by connecting with others emotionally and intellectually

 

GOING WITH THE FLOW

* I need to learn that I do have the power and talents to enact pragmatic changes based upon my view of the larger picture.

* Danger lies when I do not feel an inner connection to my goal

* I need to be careful not to go with the flow of other people's wants and desires

* I need to use intuition and follow what makes my inner child happy by listening to it and not getting flooded by my rational mind.

* I have no idea what anyone else's life lessons are, and I can only know that the happiness within myself is the only sure beacon toward right action.

* CHALLENGE: Play and have fun, pursue my individuality and manifest my own dreams

 

 

PEERS

* I apparently have some unfortunate group karma because I used to loose my individuality in groups

* I need to carefully choose my social groups that I assimilate into

* I feel the need to express my individuality in group situations

* I must stay in touch with my inner being in order to have healthy relationships with groups

 

DAYDREAMING VERUS MANIFESTATION

* I often lose myself daydreaming about the future, which dilutes myself
creative fire when I should be spending more time taking action

* I go into deep sadness whenever I waste years never realizing my dreams

* I must chose a resonate dream and take proactive steps towards manifesting it

* I have a unique talent for manifesting in the world whatever I dream about (!)

* I sometimes become impatient with my dreams and try to force them into reality

* I cannot afford to wait to see the full picture before acting because I'm never going to gain enough knowledge and confidence to act

* My vitality comes with taking risks

FOCUS VERSUS DISTRACTION

* I am easily distracted by life's opportunities and have trouble staying tuned into the original goal that excited me in the first place.

* I need to learn to stay on path regardless of obstacles or distractions

* I easily get caught up in the ecstatic energy associated with beginning a journey towards my dream

* When the journey to towards my dream becomes difficult or momentum slows, then I either give up or get easily distracted on another path that holds less energy for me in the long-run

* External resistance to my dream is often faced, and I must pull back and rise above it and use these challenges as an opportunity to grow my character.

* Internal resistance to my dream is also faced, and they I persevere through strength and self-discipline.

 

CREATIVITY

* I need to learn to participate in the joy of the creative process

* I'm supposed to create the creative situations that I want, but I don't know how. (!)

* The fear of not knowing sends me into a downward spiral of searching for more and more knowledge so that I can be empowered to act.

* SOLUTION: I need to act with intention and focus on my creation, and the knowledge I need will come from going forward through active creation

[Image Source]

KNOWLEDGE VERSUS EXPERIENCE

* I must stop using knowledge as an excuse not to act, and realize that
it's all right to be wrong (anything really worth doing is worth doing
poorly)

* I need to realize that making mistakes is how we gain real knowledge about what practically works

* My self-confidence comes from trusting my own information base, but I
need to be willing NOT to know, and be open to experimentation with a
childlike sense of wonder

* I need to follow my heart even if other people aren't doing it

* I tend to use certainty of knowledge to protect me from the pain of potential mistakes

* I need to follow my inner child into "unchartered territories of
pleasure, excitement, discovery, romance, and creativity" – otherwise I
become "discontented, disassociated and confused" as to why I didn't
end up at a happier place.

* I must step out into the unknown and find my truth through direct experience through trust, intuition and courage

 [Image Source]

GAMEMENSHIP

* I am excellent at games since my objectivity allows for the construction of excellent strategies

* Once I have my goal in mind, I'm able to play my role in order to make my dream come true – so it helps to think of it as a game.

 

Image source: jillallyn

I started reading some discussions about Spiral Dynamics integral, and Wilber's latest thoughts on Altitudes (aka Wilber-5).  The thing that jumps out at me are the tensions between the different frameworks that manifest in subtle ways that are really only perceptable to those who follow these worlds closely.

Joe Perez writes: "Some observers of controversy in the integral arena are wondering if there is a growing gulf between previously united factions? Are the disagreements between Ken Wilber on the one hand and Spiral Dynamics on the other sectarian?"

WH explains in this comment: "Wilber has been distancing himself from SDi for a couple of years -- he tends to refer to it as a values line rather than an integral system. My feeling is that SDi, through its exposure in What Is Enlightment? and Wilber's books -- was getting more popular than AQAL, so he had to denigrate the whole model. This has been going on for some time, but it got ugly when he said harsh things about both Cowan and Beck in his Wyatt Earpy posts a while back (do a google search for Wyatt Earpy)."

I agree with Perez's observation that  "I have qualms about any system (whether it be Spiral Dynamics or AQAL) that bases its theories on original research and then retains such research for its private collection available only to select and qualified researchers. I have a hard time defending any system when the answer to the question, "Where's the beef?" is "Trust Don Beck and Chris Cowan. They keep it locked in their safe.""

This to me seems to be the root of the tension between the two frameworks -- there seems to be a lack of open and transparent dialogue and debate within these "secretarian" communities of Beck & Wilber -- and Cowan as well, but I know the least about his approach.

But each one seems to be developed within their proprietary bubbles which may ultimately help fuel these types of turf battles.  This is probably pretty self-evident to most, but it is an interesting and new trend for me.

UPDATE 11-04: WH writes in the comments:
"The problem is not a lack of communication between SDi and AQAL – both sides are intimately familiar with the other. The problem has been, as is often the case when money is involved, egos and competition."

I agree with this. Competition is a good and healthy thing to prevent groupthink, and I guess I'm really concerned about whether or not the business models of these different approaches prevents true dialogue and tension that forces growth and adaptation.  But also whether or not there is other outside vetting that is required for it to have more widespread adoption and implementation.

I have wondered why something like Spiral Dynamics -- which on an intuitive level seems like it has a lot of grains of truth -- hasn't spread out and been implemented in many different contexts. 

I actually asked Beck about this in relation to the academic world in this brief interview, and he said:

"Academics because they wear those medieval gowns, they graduate and tend to be keepers of the orthodoxy.  Professors get embedded in theories and systems for which they've done their PhD study and they taught grad students from all across the world.  So you find that so-called higher education academics are some of the most rigid systems that you'll ever find. 

You tend to find in healthy business environments a lot more creativity, innovation and cutting-edge thinking. 

So I'm less concerned about that other than the fact that I think that we have reached the point where our maps -- our maps of the planet, our maps of marketing, our maps of culture, our maps of how values systems emerge are grossly out of date and have been contaminated by our dominate worldviews. So there is a huge need today to update our maps."

So there is clearly a lot of understandable disdain towards academia, but does SDi or Wilber's approach need more peer review and validation to be seen as more credible or legitimate so that we can actually update our dominant maps?

[Image Source]

A friend asked me if there was a map of political idealogies that was more of a circular map rather than a straight line between the left and the right.

I sent him Gregory Wilbert's map above based upon Ken Wilber's Integral Map with four quadrants.

The X axis is Internal vs. External
The Y axis is Individual vs. Collective

• Internal/Individual Upper Left (UL) = Psychology
• Internal/Collective Lower Left (LL) = Sociology
• External/Individual Upper Right (UR) = Behaviorism
• External/Collective Lower Right (LR) = Systems

Republicans/Libertarians focus on inner world -- personal motivation, work 
hard and have an entreprenurial spirit rather than big government

Liberals/Progressives focus more on external systems -- support systems 
for the collective.

Both are important, and centrists and independents usually see this and 
prefer not to align themselves with either extreme.

But the map above also shows the nature of the extreme political ideologies:

• Libertarianism -- Personal intention and self-interest w/ small government (UL)
• Facism -- Government with uniform cultural value systems (LL)
• Anarchism -- no government power structure and power of individual (UR)
• Socialism -- collective government structures serve society (LR)

These following articles below give an overview of Wilber's quadrant system 
which might help give some context to the Integral Map of political idealogies
above.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AQAL#Quadrants
http://www.integralleadership.com/quadrants.htm
http://www.formlessmountain.com/quads.htm

Check out the full-sized version of this table here.

I often find myself typing the keywords "Spiral Dynamics Whole Foods" into the almighty Google oracle in order to pull up Whole Foods CEO John Mackey's excellent speech entitled "The Upper Flow of Human Development."  I really like how Mackey describes the unique Characterstics and Qualities of each value system meme with bulleted lists of  Decision-Making,  Education, Family,  Community & Life Space priorities.

The only problem with the layout of all of this information in a linear fashion is that it has been really hard to compare and contrast the different vMemes with each other.  That was why I created a Spiral Dynamics Cheat Sheet Graphic with all of the six categories and characteristics in one big massive table.

SPIRAL DYNAMICS COLLAGE
Another resource that I've found to be very useful in trying to understand Spiral Dynamics was this Formless Mountain Collage by Steve Self. (UPDATE: Here is another link to it here)



The reason why his collage resonates with me so much is because it packs in so much information on both the visual and archetypical level.  The original picture was interactive in that you could mouseover the text and it would explain characterisitics for each of the four quadrants for each vMeme, and this static shot has them to the right.

I have also envisioned finding 168 appropriate pictues for each of the characteristics listed in table above into a massive collage ala Formless Mountain's collage.  It's a daunting task because a number of the characteristics are fairly abstract.   But I'm hoping that this table helps inspire me to start digging through the Creative Commons pool of photos over at Flickr towards the goal of either creating a unified collage or a series of videoblog posts. 

By all means, please let me know if you're interesting in helping dig up some representative photos for something like this.

INTEGRAL COMMUNICATIONS
Another resource to pass along: I tracked down Adam Leonard a while ago through Integral Institute when I was looking for someone who combined Communications Theory with Integral Theory.  Adam was just finishing his Master's degree in Communications where he was able to get a 180-page thesis on Integral Communications through the rigors of his Academic institution. 

Adam has allowed me to publish his thesis on my site here & here, and I highly recommend digging through the appendices for a lot of bulleted lists of characteristics for each vMeme.

The other interesting aspect to Adam's Integral Communications thesis is that he provides a framework for translating messages to different vMemes.  I find myself referring to the appendices of Adam's thesis paper quite often as well. There is also a lot of juicy Communications theory to boot for all of those integral nerds out there.

FOR SPIRAL DYNAMICS BEGINNERS:
This What is Enlightenment Spiral Dynamics page has a lot of good references and lectures to check out -- including the graphic below:

We attended a Non-Violent Communication (NVC) Level I Workshop this weekend, and there are quite a bit of profound insights packed into this approach to communicating.

It is such a powerful strategy for communication because it aims to create a safe context for connecting to others in an authentic and vulnerable way. Rather than judging, blaming or attacking, it is about starting with the neutral common ground so that you can connect on an empathetic level by sharing your feelings. You then clearly communicate your internal needs and make requests without punishing the other person for saying "No."

NVC offers a simple yet effective framework to be more aware of what's going on inside of us so that we can connect and communicate it clearly to others. The NVC-style of speaking takes a bit of getting used to, but it is worth getting through the learning curve of deprogramming our habitual ways of thinking and communicating.

Below are some of the highlights from the NVC Level I Weekend Workshop as taught by Peggy Smith. The NVC movement stems from Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication book shown above, but I highly recommend attending a workshop because there are a number of exercises that help you put this theory into practice.

[Video Coming Soon]

THE FOUR BASIC STEPS OF NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION
We usually speak with loaded statements that are filled with judgments, blame, guilt, fear, shame, etc. NVC adds clarity by separating communication into four different steps of Observation, Feelings, Needs & Request (OFNR)

1. OBSERVATION: Share a non-judgmental observation without any charged language that might put someone on the defensive
2. FEELINGS: Identify the feelings that are coming up
3. NEEDS: Connect these feelings to an underlying and universal human need
4. REQUEST: Make a request for the person to reflect back what you said and/or take a specific action.

NVC trainer John Cunningham has a handout that has a very useful digest of these four different steps.

OBSERVATIONS
* Differentiate from evaluations or judgments
* It's the stimulus and not the cause of my reaction
* Factual, Observable phenomena
* What a video camera might record
* Establishes common ground
* Remain open to clarification

FEELINGS
* Differentiate from thoughts
* Thoughts interpret; feelings inform
* Feelings are messages that point to our needs
* We are responsible for our feelings
* "I feel that…" & "I feel like…" or "I feel you…" are thoughts, not feelings

NEEDS
* Differentiate from strategies
* Needs are universal; strategies personal & specific
* Needs are the root of our feelings
* Needs are our shared, universal human nature
* Identification of needs learns to understanding
* Needs express the process of our becoming

REQUESTS
* Differentiate from demands
* Demands have conditions; requests don't
* Use positive language when making requests
* Make requests concrete & presently doable
* Clarifies what's been heard/seen, what feelings are present, or what action might meet the needs

GIVING & RECEIVING GAME VERSUS NAMING AND BLAMING GAME
Peggy Smith began the weekend NVC workshop with a worksheet from "The Compassionate Classroom." It described the differences between our habitual ways of communicating in a "Naming and Blaming" manner versus the NVC approach of "Giving and Receiving."

Marshall Rosenberg likes to represent this dichotomy with the metaphors of the Jackal vs. The Giraffe.

Why a giraffe?
* Giraffes have a 26 lb heart
* Have a long neck which can symbolize that they can see the consequences of their actions
* Are strong enough to kill a lion with a single kick
* Their saliva can dissolve thorns which symbolizes their ability to transform the barbs of others with compassion and empathy.

GIVING & RECEIVING COMMUNICATION STYLE (i.e. NVC)
GOALS:
* To make life wonderful
* To meet everyone's internal needs
* Create community & have power with others

MOTIVATION
* A natural state of Joy
* Meet internal needs through each individual's choice & free will

STRATEGIES
* Speak "Giraffe Language"
* Observe exactly what was Seen & Heard without human interpretation or subjectivity
* Share my feelings and needs in way that takes personal responsibility for them
* Make requests to make life more wonderful – And it's okay for others to say "No" since they're not obligated to act
* Listen with Empathy (Everyone has a natural hunger for empathy)
* Hear feelings and needs

NAMING & BLAMING
GOALS:
* To be right
* To get what I want
* Create a hierarchy & have power over others

MOTIVATION
* Fear, Guilt, Shame, Obligation, Duty

STRATEGIES
* Speak Jackal language
* Judge right or wrong and analyze
* Blame & criticize
* Make demands and use punishments and rewards – Can't say "No" without facing negative consequences like a withdrawal of affection
* Listen without Empathy
* Agree or disagree, advise, lecture, scold, argue, sympathize, divert

NOTABLE COMMENTS:
* We can't "get rid" of all of the jackals, but it is merely a piece of information for how we are able to translate their blaming language into the underlying feelings, needs and requests
* "No one can say or do anything can hurt us"
* Whenever you say "No" to someone, you're saying "Yes" to one of your own needs
* We have the power to take responsibility for our own life.
* We're not victims
* We have a choice for how we feel, react and respond to situations and people
* What's the difference between sympathy and empathy? Sympathy is when you get triggered and stimulated by your own feelings and needs and wallow in the suffering of the other by agreeing with the victim stories. Empathy is the power of being fully present and having an open heart with someone in a non-judgmental

NVC ADVOCATES RADICAL PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
* We Can Choose How We Act
* We Can Choose How We Think
* We Can Choose How We Listen
* We Can Choose How We Talk

KEY ASSUMPTIONS AND INTENTIONS OF NVC
1. Our world offers sufficient resources for meeting everyone's basic needs
* Scarcity is a lack of imagination, lack of skills or systemic limitations.

2. All actions are attempts to meet needs
* Core of NVC is that people want to meet their needs, and we are at conflict with the external strategies that we use to meet our needs

3. Feelings point to needs being met or unmet
* Feelings serve as a barometer that measures the degree to which our needs are being met
* NVC frowns upon statements like "You make me feel…" because no one can make you feel anything.
* Need to look for the root cause of the feelings, which are the universal human needs
* We feel happy, satisfied & peaceful when our needs are met, and feel sad, scared, angry when they're not met.

4. All human beings have the capacity for compassion
* No one is "evil" – everyone has the capacity for compassion even if they don't know how to access it
* Compassion increases our capacity for meeting our needs peacefully.

5. Human beings enjoy giving
* If we have choice, we're more likely to choose to serve and contribute to the well-being of others
* We inherently enjoy giving to others when we recognize our own needs and the needs of others

6. Human beings meet needs
* Relationships are the source for meeting most of our needs
* When others needs are unmet, then some of our needs are also unmet.

7. Choice is internal
* Autonomy is the ability for us to make our own choices

8. The most direct path to peace is through self-connection
* Needs can fill fulfilled when we are at peace with them and able to internally embrace, accept and love it. They don't necessarily have to be met through an external strategy or from a particular person.
* NVC is not learning something new, it is a remembering the essence from when we were born
* It tends to take adults longer to learn NVC than children.

OTHER NOTABLE COMMENTS:
* Our culture is speed-based and solution-based, and NVC advocates SLOWING down to notice the needs underneath our feelings
* Move away from static "I am" statements, and towards "I am feeling X because of my need for Y" -- allows for change moment-to-moment.
* We habitually identify ourselves by our suffering and trauma, NVC tends to see our past as mostly irrelevant
* We have a cultural taboo to not ask because we may be putting people in a position to say "No."
* Need to learn to dog for your needs and be willing to ask anything you need to make your life more wonderful from anyone.

KEY INTENTIONS WHEN USING NVC

* OPEN-HEARTED LIVING
1. Self-compassion
* Release self-blame, self-judgments & self-demands
* You can make yourself sick through blaming yourself, which isn't very helpful

2. Expressing from the heart
* Authentically communicate your feelings and needs in a way that establishes connection

3. Receiving with compassion
* Look beyond the surface-level expressions and actions from others to extrapolate what their feelings and needs might be.

4. Prioritizing Connection
* NVC isn't mediation or compromise, it is about connecting with an open heart and trying to stay in "the dance" long enough to meet everyone's needs

5. Beyond "right" and "wrong"
* We have a habit to judge between right and wrong, and we have a lot of resistance to giving up the need to be right – focus on meeting needs instead.

* CHOICE, RESPONSIBILITY, PEACE
6. Taking responsibility for our feelings
* No one has the power to make us feel anything – we have choice, and it's up to us to take actions to meet our needs

7. Taking responsibility for our actions
* Act in a mindful and intentional way to meet our needs rather than from a place of fear, guilt, shame, potential reward, duty or obligation.

8. Living in peace with unmet needs
* Focus on connecting with the feelings around unmet needs rather than obsessing on the various external strategies to meet them.

9. Increasing capacity for meeting needs
* When we focus on developing our sense of inner peace and NVC competencies, then we have more connection and a broader range of potential strategies to meet our needs

10. Caring equally for everyone's needs
* Strive towards solutions that can meet as many different people's needs as possible
* Everyone's needs are universal and completely valid, it’s the various strategies for meeting needs that are in conflict
* When we say "No" to someone's else's strategy for meeting a need, we're also saying "Yes" to one of our own strategies to meet one of our needs
* We should explain why we're saying "No" to people
* Marshall Rosenberg says that "we can only hear 35 words at a time"
* We are usually trying to prove to the other person that we're right when we go on and on and on about something.
* We'll reget it in the long-run if we overwhelm people with our reasoning or demands until they surrender to our strategy. People should do things because they want to.

11. Protective Use of Force
* When dialogue fails to meet an immediate need for physical safety, then use the minimal amount of force necessary to restore balance.

OTHER NOTABLE COMMENTS
* Learning NVC doesn't mean that you have to use it.
* It's possible to use NVC to beat yourself up and make judgments like "That's not NVC!"
* It's true power when we're able to share what it is that we're really feeling
* We gain power and autonomy by being able to express our feelings
* Needs are Universal, but whenever specific people are connected to a need then it becomes a specific "strategy" for meeting that need. So people can be our "preferred strategies" for meeting needs, but they are not the only way to meet our needs
* Our needs are never in conflict, it's the external strategies that conflict
* Self-Empathy: Ask yourself, "Are you willing…"
* Identifying the underlying needs has the capability of removing the loaded emotional charges from our "stories."
* One surprising universal need is "Mourning our Limitations." We all have regrets and grief over our limitations, and it is better to recognize and honor this need. Otherwise if they are ignored and brushed underneath the rug, then it'll grow and manifest in other ways like rage or anger.
* "Are you feeling X, because of your need for Y?"

FAUX FEELINGS THAT MASK PAINFUL FEELINGS
There are a number of "non-feelings" that are feelings that are mixed with judgments. These "Faux Feelings" tend to protect us from the feelings that we don't want to have by placing the blame onto others.

Some examples of "Non-Feelings":
Abandoned, abused, betrayed, blamed, cheated, criticized, ignored, insulted, intimidated, inadequate, invalidated, isolated, let down, manipulated, neglected, pressured, rejected, smothered, ridiculed, stupid, unimportant, untrusted, unwanted, used, violated, worthless, useless

WAYS THAT WE CAN BLOCK EMPATH
Empathy and Compassion is the energetic glue for NVC. Here are some common pitfalls that block empathy:
* Advising
* One-Upping
* Educating
* Consuling
* Storytelling
* Shutting Down
* Sympathizing
* Interrogating
* Explaining
* Correcting


THE FOUR DIFFERENT CHOICES FOR HOW WE LISTEN
We can either Submit, Rebel, Express or Empathize.
Two of the options focus on your internal reaction and two of them focus on the other person's reaction.
Two of the options are the Naming and Blaming Jackal, and the other two are Giving and Receiving Giraffe.

1.) Submitting: Internalized Naming & Blaming (Jackal In)
Blame myself by believing any criticism and fall towards shame, guilt and depression.

2.) Rebelling: Externalized Naming & Blaming (Jackal Out)
Perceive that you're being judged and act defensively by attacking the other person because they're wrong

3.) Expressing Self-Empathy: Internalized Giving & Receiving (Giraffe In)
Checking in with your feelings and expressing them in the form of: "When I hear X, I feel Y because of my need for Z."

4.) Empathize: Externalized Giving & Receiving (Giraffe Out)
Empathetic Guess about the feeling that is pointing to an unmet need: "I'm wondering if you're feeling X because you have a need for Y?"

* Submitting and Rebelling are our habitual patterns that we're very accustomed to.
* The more that you practice #3 of Giraffe In, then the more that the Empathetic Guess will come and flow.

CONCLUSION:
NVC is great.
I really like it.
You should check it out.
There is so much more to it than I've laid out here.
Go here for more info: http://www.cnvc.org

Finally, one of the most useful handouts from a NVC gathering is a "Feeling and Need Cheat Sheet," which gives an overview of all of your various different feelings and needs that we have. There are a number of different variations of this, and I've found that John Cunningham's version is the ultimate cheat sheet that really helps put NVC into practice.

 
Click HERE for a larger version of this picture.

I impulsively went to go see "Borat" tonight because there has been a ton of buzz and generally positive reviews for the film.  I thought that I would examine the film through a Spiral Dynamics lens to see how it pushes the boundaries of value systems.

The comic formula of this film is for Borat to naively say or do offensive things under the guise of being from a foreign culture in order to make the unsuspecting Americans feel uncomfortable.  Exactly what is or isn't offensive for each person has to do with with their values system.

Borat proves that he is willing to challenge any and all worldviews. The dissonance that this brings up in people is the comic gold that is going to carry this film to be one of the most successful comedies of the year, and maybe of all time as some folks are already predicting.

The pranks that comedian Sacha Baron Cohen is able to pull off within the context of the Borat character evokes moments of authenticity that is missing from most Hollywood films.  The hybrid style of Mockumentary, Candid Camera and Reality TV creates what I would describe as a long-form viral video. 

It is a new style that is only possible in a context where the subjects are comfortable enough to have a camera present documenting the unfolding of these pranks.  "How did they get some of this on camera?" -- I asked myself more than once.  It helped created the type of raw humor that you want to share with your friends, and it works across many different value systems.

I think that the core audience for the film is the YouTube generation, but it can also be viewed and interpreted as a sophisticated deconstruction of American culture. It reminds me of the Pixar films in that the youth can enjoy the spectacle of the film while the adults can enjoy the nuances of the cultural references and storyline.  I think that "Borat" also works on multiple levels -- everywhere from the prank reactions to the un-politically correct Borat all the way up to the postmodern deconstructions of our cultural norms.

Comedians are supposed to push people's comfort zones, and there is no better way to challenge our fundamental value systems than with humor and satire.  Just observe how Jon Stewart and Stephan Colbert have become the jesters in the media court who say the things that real journalists can't or don't say, but should be saying.

Cohen himself no doubt has a very Yellow & Integrative Worldview, [is at least Orange (in it for the money) or possibly Green], but his Borat character is very Red  -- Impulsive & Egocentric.  Borat is explicitly sexist, racist and anti-Semitic and he does and says whatever feels good for him in the moment while being unrestrained by guilt.  People assume that he is at least the same value system meme level as they are, but they quickly discover Borat's true "backward" Red vMeme nature.

It is in this moment of pushing value boundaries that Borat is able to create the humorous dissonance within the other First Tier worldviews of Blue, Orange and Green.  Unless you're at or beyond a Second Tier Yellow stage, then you'll no doubt walk away from this film being really offended at some point or another. 

The unsuspecting subjects were offended by Borat to differing degrees depending on their approximate value system meme level.

Blue (Purposeful / Authoritarian / Fundamentalist)
Generally accepted Borat's indiscretions without really noticing them, and also said some really stupid and ignorant... err, non-inclusive statements.

Orange (Achievist / Scientific / Capitalist)
Would notice Borat's indiscretions and would generally go along with them in the interest of their business, visually show discomfort to Borat's non-PC behavior and sometimes even explode

Green (Communitarian / Egalitarian / Politically Correct).
Would immediately notice any non-PC behavior, and would politely confront Borat on it.

The bulk of the humor in the film focused on the Blue and Orange vMeme reactions to Borat while the Green vMeme sections tended to focus more on advancing Borat's storyline.

Again, the spectrum of reactions in the Candid Camera / Reality TV segments are what makes the film funny and interesting, and the mockumentary plot line just provided a convenient arc to glue the prank scenes together. 

So given all of this, I thought that I would try to approximate the value system of the participants who are getting pranked in each scene, and talk about what Borat was doing to push their buttons.



!!! SPOILER ALERT !!!
Below I describe the prank scenes in the film by approximating the vMemes of the participants and the offensive behavior of Borat.
 
You'll have to see the film to fully appreciate the reactions that it evokes, but you may want to skip the rest of this post to preserve an untainted film viewing experience.

Otherwise, read on...

* ORANGE / GREEN: People on the NYC subway and walking down the streets -- Borat tries to shake hands and kiss people.
* GREEN: Humor Coach -- Goes way over the line with political correctness by admitting to having sex with his sister. 
* GREEN: Group of Feminists -- Suggests that men are smarter than women and speaks demeaningly about women as sex objects
* ORANGE: Driving Lesson Teacher-- Does a number of irresponsible things while driving including trying to drink alcohol and scream at other drivers.
* ORANGE: Car Salesman -- What is the best car to drive over Gypsies? 
* BLUE /  ORANGE: Gun Shop Owner-- Which one of these guns would be the best to "kill the Jew"?
* GREEN / YELLOW: Gay Pride Parade -- Gets intimate with a number of gay pride marchers
* BLUE /  ORANGE: Republican Bob Barr -- Eats ceremonial cheese that it is made from his sister's breast milk
* BLUE  / ORANGE: Republican Alan Keyes -- Talks matter of factly about bringing homosexuals back to his hotel room
* ORANGE: Local TV Interview & Weatherman-- Acts extra friendly and inappropriately
* BLUE: Rodeo Man -- Tries to kiss man and talks about suppressing homosexuals in his homeland
* BLUE: Rodeo Crowd -- Borat spouts off some over-the-top anti-terrorism rhetoric and changes the words to the National Anthem about how his country is the best in the world
* GREEN: Etiquette Teacher -- These intercut scenes serve more to deconstruct social norms during the Dinner Party scenes
* ORANGE / GREEN: Dinner Party -- Openly criticizes someone's self-esteem, improperly disposes of his waste and invites a prostitute to join him in the middle of dinner
* ORANGE  / GREEN: African American Youth on the Street -- Asks tips on how to dress and talk like African Americans
* ORANGE: Hotel clerk -- Calls the clerk vanilla face in ghetto speak
* GREEN: Jewish Couple -- Acts really scared and paranoid of the Jewish couple, and leaves in the middle of the night
* ORANGE: Yard Sale Woman -- Demeaningly refers to this woman as a Gypsie to her face multiple times
* SCRIPTED SKIT -- This nude wrestling scene seemed to get the most laughs
* ORANGE: Hotel Guests & Morgage Bankers  -- Running around naked through the hallways of a hotel and into a conference hall
* ORANGE RED/BLUE: Traveling Fraternity Boys -- Lewd conversations about women while getting drunk
* BLUE: Fundamentalist Christians -- Seeks healing and describes his brother as retarded, but mainly plays along without directly skewering them
* GREEN: Man in Death Costume -- Starts a verbal shouting match with his producer on the street
* GREEN ORANGE/GREEN: Pamela Anderson -- Makes a marriage proposal and makes a last ditch effort to capture her heart (possibly scripted, but not sure)

Again, the BLUE vMeme people tended to quietly tolerate Borat while exposing their own intolerances. 
ORANGE would communicate their disproval through their subtext of being visually uncomfortable or totally exploding on him.
And GREEN would find any un-PC behavior unacceptable and inform him about it.

Thoughts?
I'd be curious to hear any other feedback, so please leave a comment below.