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affirmation
January 2007 
Affirmations to Live Up to My Soul's Purpose
ebbandflow
I read through some interesting material about my soul's purpose that resonated with me a lot -- so much so that I felt compelled to write a lot of it down. I know that if I didn't, then a lot of it would just seep through me like a sieve.
So I took the following notes in the form of personal affirmations in order to own up to them. I also intend to use the pictures to help amply the core message so that I can treat this as a public note to myself. These feel very personal, intimate and like they are some of my deepest shadows that sabotage me. I don't usually post stuff that is this personal, but I wanted to put these intentions out for all to see.
The insights are from a book called "Astrology for the Soul" by Jan Spiller, which talks about the importance of the North Node. These following excerpts are from North Node in the 5th House.
Astrology still has a lot of taboos against it in our culture, and so I treat this type of stuff with a healthy skepticism and view it through a mythical lens rather than a literal one. I find
that it helps uncover some archetypical patterns that can bring me down, hold me back, and prevent me from living up to my highest potential. If this Astrological blue print can
indeed help me fulfill my soul's purpose while I'm on this planet, then I think it's certainly worth considering.
ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP
* I need to have a willingness to take center stage
* I need to follow my heart's desires
* I need to strengthen my willpower
* I need to have more self-confidence
* I need to take risks
* I need to enjoy life and have fun
TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND
* I need to avoid detaching from emotional situations
* I need to stop being so aloof
* I need to stop waiting for others to prompt my action
* I need to stop waiting for "more" knowledge before taking action
* I need to stop any excessive daydreaming
* I need to stop running away from confrontation
ACHILLES HEEL
* I have an overriding need to feel acceptance from peers, but it's apparently a bottomless pit
* My soul path tells me that friends never can give me enough support to break out as an individual and take advantage of opportunities
* I need to avoid the trap of an unending search for knowledge in order to have enough confidence to act creatively.
* I must take risks to create my own happiness.
WHAT I REALLY WANT
* I really want to experience the loving energy of others
* I should give love to others or create a support network of people who will support, accept and love me
* I will receive by giving.
TALENTS / PROFESSION
* I need to find a profession that rewards my individual creative efforts through intensely creative projects (i.e. filmmaking)
* Objectivity is a talent that can be used to identify the contextual games around creativity, but I should avoid professions where objectivity is the goal (i.e. engineering)
AFFIRMATIONS
* "The only person who can create my happiness is me"
* "If I'm having fun, I'm on track"
* When I follow the impulses of the child within, I win"
* "I win when I actively create the results I want"
WHERE I'M COMING FROM
* I have previously lost touch with the vital energy of my inner child
* I have been an objective observer who has a real fear of getting involved
* I need to GET INVOLVED and LEARN HOW TO PLAY
* I have a "laboratory objectivity" which creates a need to passively observe without interfering with the observed data.
* I need to be wary of identifying too much with the role of "Important Observer," which will stroke my ego
* I feel compelled to cut through all of the nonsense and tell it like it is, but this might feel bad if settle too much into rigid positions.
* CHALLENGE: I need to focus on positive aspects that either make me laugh, change my perspective or help lighten the burden.
OBSERVATION VERSUS ACTION
* I can get swept up into other people's dramas even though there are plenty of warning signs
* To manifest my dream, it takes a combination of observation and action, and a lot of exerted energy
* I tend to be much better at observing rather than acting to create real world changes.
SCIENTIFIC APPROACH VERSUS CREATIVITY
* I have a tendency to "think myself to death," analyze everything, and explore all of the possible things that can go wrong.
* I feel compelled to gather all possible knowledge before making any decisions to act.
* I can become so overwhelmed with all of the possibilities that I can get overwhelmed and paralyzed
* I seek security through certain knowledge, which keeps me from taking the risks that would increase my vitality.
* I must trust intuition rather than clinging on to logical strategies
* I often assume that they have superior knowledge, even though this stubborn assumption often blocks them from manifesting my dream.
* I need to consider that my basic premises may be in error
* I often create an arbitrary set of conditions that must be met before acting, but yet these conditions are rarely ever met and may cause me to miss a window of opportunity
* I need to release control of the success or failure of my dream
* I should put aside concerns and do whatever possible from moment to moment in order to achieve my dream
* I need to transcend the limitations of the scientific approach in order to be truly creative
* My creativity comes with working with what's at hand through intuition and mindfulness
* I must accept what the universe brings forth in order to make my dreams come true
* I can go in circles feeling estranged from my life force, and I need to be sure to tap into this life force by connecting with others emotionally and intellectually
GOING WITH THE FLOW
* I need to learn that I do have the power and talents to enact pragmatic changes based upon my view of the larger picture.
* Danger lies when I do not feel an inner connection to my goal
* I need to be careful not to go with the flow of other people's wants and desires
* I need to use intuition and follow what makes my inner child happy by listening to it and not getting flooded by my rational mind.
* I have no idea what anyone else's life lessons are, and I can only know that the happiness within myself is the only sure beacon toward right action.
* CHALLENGE: Play and have fun, pursue my individuality and manifest my own dreams
PEERS
* I apparently have some unfortunate group karma because I used to loose my individuality in groups
* I need to carefully choose my social groups that I assimilate into
* I feel the need to express my individuality in group situations
* I must stay in touch with my inner being in order to have healthy relationships with groups
DAYDREAMING VERUS MANIFESTATION
* I often lose myself daydreaming about the future, which dilutes myself
creative fire when I should be spending more time taking action
* I go into deep sadness whenever I waste years never realizing my dreams
* I must chose a resonate dream and take proactive steps towards manifesting it
* I have a unique talent for manifesting in the world whatever I dream about (!)
* I sometimes become impatient with my dreams and try to force them into reality
* I cannot afford to wait to see the full picture before acting because I'm never going to gain enough knowledge and confidence to act
* My vitality comes with taking risks
FOCUS VERSUS DISTRACTION * I am easily distracted by life's opportunities and have trouble staying tuned into the original goal that excited me in the first place.
* I need to learn to stay on path regardless of obstacles or distractions
* I easily get caught up in the ecstatic energy associated with beginning a journey towards my dream
* When the journey to towards my dream becomes difficult or momentum slows, then I either give up or get easily distracted on another path that holds less energy for me in the long-run
* External resistance to my dream is often faced, and I must pull back and rise above it and use these challenges as an opportunity to grow my character.
* Internal resistance to my dream is also faced, and they I persevere through strength and self-discipline.
CREATIVITY
* I need to learn to participate in the joy of the creative process
* I'm supposed to create the creative situations that I want, but I don't know how. (!)
* The fear of not knowing sends me into a downward spiral of searching for more and more knowledge so that I can be empowered to act.
* SOLUTION: I need to act with intention and focus on my creation, and the knowledge I need will come from going forward through active creation
KNOWLEDGE VERSUS EXPERIENCE
* I must stop using knowledge as an excuse not to act, and realize that
it's all right to be wrong (anything really worth doing is worth doing
poorly)
* I need to realize that making mistakes is how we gain real knowledge about what practically works
* My self-confidence comes from trusting my own information base, but I
need to be willing NOT to know, and be open to experimentation with a
childlike sense of wonder
* I need to follow my heart even if other people aren't doing it
* I tend to use certainty of knowledge to protect me from the pain of potential mistakes
* I need to follow my inner child into "unchartered territories of
pleasure, excitement, discovery, romance, and creativity" – otherwise I
become "discontented, disassociated and confused" as to why I didn't
end up at a happier place.
* I must step out into the unknown and find my truth through direct experience through trust, intuition and courage
GAMEMENSHIP
* I am excellent at games since my objectivity allows for the construction of excellent strategies
* Once I have my goal in mind, I'm able to play my role in order to make my dream come true – so it helps to think of it as a game.
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